Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no more duck duck goose at the bar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
