Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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