I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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