Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
