It's like God shit irony all over that family
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
