So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize