you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
