Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
