Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
