This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
