My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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