What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dear god my vagina.
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