i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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