You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize