I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
