Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
