i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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