Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
