My Higher Power is John Stamos
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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