i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
