Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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