Just fell off a train. Bad.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
