go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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