East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
