Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
