Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
