Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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