please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
