Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
