I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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