Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
