she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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