and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
