Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
