glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
