I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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