Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize