Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
