I hope mine doesn't look like that
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize