I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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