he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
