you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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