ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
