I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
