i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
