They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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