16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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