Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
