hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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