So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
