to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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