She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
