It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
