I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't deserve a penis
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
