i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
