I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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