You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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