I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
