He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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