Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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