I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
