Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
