this beer tastes like vomit already
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
