Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
